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This morning, i saw P's picture.
Now, at night, when i look at it again, i almost wanted to cry.
What happened to him?
What made him so gaunt?
I really, really wish i am by his side to take care of him.
Only God knows how much i wish for this.

I had a talk with a colleague of mine..
I just realized that i really do am in love with Yamashita Tomohisa.
Too much in love that my heart can't accept another guy.
I know that it's bad but i just can't help it.
I just can't help falling in love with him.
Not that i ask for it.
I'm at loss.
What should i do?

Can one actually fall in love over the same guy over and over again but also at the same time, got disappointed in him over and over again but still you can't help but to fall head over heels over him?

Haha...
Can understand my train of sentence?
Well, just look at this pic!!!
My heart is going 'doki doki' when i saw this!

He's just so cute!
From Tw concert

Its Christmas time!

is it me or do they look a tad bit evil?

Cozy, cozy time!
I want a hug!

Its been a long time since i last updated...

My mood right now is upset...
This entry might be caused by my mood swings or maybe not...
But this is what i have been feeling and maybe accumulated over the years...

I had a talk with one of my colleagues regarding friends.
She is lucky as she had a few friends which are closerthn even her own family.
They shared everything together, in other words through thick and thin.
I want to have friends like that too...
But I duno how...

The friends i had now...
I duno how to describe them..
They are slpit into a few categories.

Colleagues which i can talk abt work and maybe some of my general stuff like family, studies..

MDIS clazmates which is mostly abt studies, assignments and just talk nonsense.

Jap clazmates which we talk mostly abt jap studies..

Outside friends which i only have umm....3? 4? 1 is a new friend which i gt to know during the trip to Taiwan. 1 is lost in her diploma, the other 1, i dun think i am in contact anymore. (hmm...i think she is now more of an acquantaince than a friend), the other 1, hmm... i am closer to her.

To tell honestly, i regard her as my very most close fren, as close like a best friend but i dun think i can be her best friend as she already have one and one cant have more than 1 best friend or the word 'best friend' is not special anymore. Besides, i guess she had some difficulty in confiding things in me..its just my feelings or my observations or analysis.. (I am proud of my observation sometimes coz i tend to see and observe things pretty well and analyse well too.)

Well, we do communicate each other through sms everyday but that is often abt something that we both started. Sometimes, she will ask me abt jap stuff. sometimes, we will discuss about our fav idols which I influenced her greatly. Sometimes we will talk abt other things. Bt most often, if we do not sms abt the thing that we started, we will not sms each other as i guess we dun have things to talk abt.. I really wonder what do other ppl talk to each other abt..

I know maybe she's busy or sick or out or have other things to do or maybe, its me who is busy, sick or have something to do which may be a factor in the lack of topics to talk abt.

Call me possessive, call me a jealous freak, call me weird, call me anything you want but sometimes when she tells me that she went out with her friends or something, i do feel upset and hurt. especially when it coincide with the times i ask her out too... Haha... I know it sound weird..

Yes, I know that she meet them not often but i just cant help feeling that way. Hmm... DON"T GET ME WRONG! I AM NOT A LESBIAN AND I CERTAINLY DO NOT, i repeat, DO NOT LOVE HER IN 'THAT' WAY...

I guess i'm too much dependent on her to fill in my loneliness. I have to stop depending too much on her. I have to be close to other friends instead of only her. Haha... This really shows how limited and how terribly small my circle of friends are, right?

Hmm... If only i can write as fluent and as good as this in my marketing report... Haha...Ok, now, off to my assignment! Umm...after watching an episode of Jigoku Shoujo and catch a few zzzz...

a few days ago, i had a very short dream...
It goes like this...

Yamapi(hehe....always him will appear in my dreams..Hahaha..) was playing with a baby. What is he wearing? Umm...While singlet and green khakis...
The baby is about 6 mths? Arnd there coz he cannot talk and cannot walk. Only giggle and drool..Haha...
Suddenly, P called my name.
I came over and look at them, asking whats wrong.
He gave the baby to me and said, "your son."
I took the boy and P walked awayy as if nothing happened.
Then it dawned on me that the baby had did his huge business and P is passed the job of cleaning him up to me.

Then i woke up..
Haha...

NewS - with me

夜を見上げて　まわる星空　君はどこにいるの？
聞こえないよね　届いているの？　泣いた星に話かける
Yoru wo miagete Mawaru hoshizora Kimi wa doko ni iru no?
Kikoenai yo ne Todoiteiru no? Naita hoshi ni hanashi kakeru

As I look up into the night at the starry sky that keeps changing, I wonder, where are you now?You can't hear me, but I wonder if it'll reach you? I cried as I spoke to the stars
Cry with me 　Smile with me 　感じて　ずっと
Pray with me 　そばにいたいから　心　ひとつに

Cry with me Smile with me Kanjite Zutto
Pray with me Soba ni itai kara Kokoro Hitotsu ni

I'll always be aware of you when you cry with me, smile with me
Pray with me, I want to be by your side; I want our hearts to become as one

闇に抱かれて　水面に揺れる　君はなにしてるの？
まわりの音に　流されてるの？　繋いだ手を離さないで

Yami ni dakarete Minamo ni yureru Kimi wa nani shiteru no?
Mawari no oto ni Nagasareteru no? Tsunaida te wo hanasanai de

I embrace the darkness and sway upon the water's surface; What are you doing where you are?
Will the surrounding sounds flow to where you are? I won't let go of your hand that I'm holding

Stay with me　Share with me　信じて　ずっと
Come with me　今は遠くても　未来　ひとつに

Stay with me Share with me Shinjite Zutto
Come with me Ima wa tooku temo Mirai Hitotsu ni

Stay with me, let's share everything together; And let's always believe in each other
Come with me, Even though we're far apart now, in the future, we'll be together

この距離がふたりの　想う心を　奪うのは　やめてほしい
君に会えるときを　いつも夢見てるよ

Kono kyori ga futari no Omou kokoro wo Ubau no wa Yamete hoshii
Kimi ni aeru toki wo Itsumo yume miteru yo
I wish that this distance would stop stealing away our mutual love for each other
Whenever I meet you, it's always only in my dreams

Cry with me 　Smile with me 　感じて　ずっと
Pray with me 　そばにいたいから　心　ひとつに

Cry with me Smile with me Kanjite Zutto
Pray with me Soba ni itai kara Kokoro Hitotsu ni

I'll always be aware of you when you cry with me, smile with me
Pray with me, I want to be by your side; I want our hearts to become as one

Stay with me　Share with me　信じて　ずっと
Come with me　今は遠くても　未来　ひとつに
Stay with me Share with me Shinjite Zutto
Come with me Ima wa tooku temo Mirai Hitotsu ni

Stay with me, let's share everything together; And let's always believe in each other
Come with me, Even though we're far apart now, in the future, we'll be together

心　ひとつに
Kokoro Hitotsu ni

Our hearts will become one


This is also my fav song!
Just read the translation and listen to the song which i put up.
If only Yamapi dedicate this song to me...
Haha...

NewS ― Why

Why　そんな風に笑えるの？
いくつ　嘘　心に隠してるの？

Why Sonna fuu ni waraeru no?
Ikutsu Uso Kokoro ni kakushiteru no?

Why do you laugh at me in that manner?
Just how many lies are you hiding within your heart?

どんな風に　言い訳してくれんだい？
サヨナラをするんだい？

Donna fuu ni Iiwake shitekuren dai?
Sayonara wo surun dai?

What kind of explanation are you going to give me?
Are you going to tell me goodbye?

Hurting my heart

Hurting my heart

You're hurting my heart

Why don't you tell me the truth?　笑ってごまかすけど
Why don't you tell me good bye?　いっそ楽にしてよ
Bottom of my heart
I am still stuck on you, so loving you.
Why don't you say good bye?

Why don't you tell me the truth? Waratte gomakasu kedo
Why don't you tell me good bye? Isso raku ni shite yo
Bottom of my heart
I am still stuck on you, so loving you.
Why don't you say good bye?

Why don't you tell me the truth? You smile and lie to me
Why dont you tell me goodbye? Just set me free already
From the bottom of my heart
I am still so stuck on you, I'm still so in love with you
Why didn't you tell me good bye?

Why　そんな瞳でみるの？
まるで　ほら　僕が悪者さ

Why Sonna hitomi de miru no?
Marude Hora Boku ga warumono sa

Why do you look at me with those eyes?
As if I'm the one at fault here

どんな風に　弄んでくれんだい？
口づけをするんだい？

Donna fuu ni Moteasonde kuren dai?
Kuchizuke wo surun dai?

How much longer will you keep screwing around with me?
Are you just going to kiss me?

Breaking my heart

Breaking my heart

You're breaking my heart

Why don't you love me only?　決まってごまかすけど
Why don't you tell me good bye? もう耐えられないよ
Bottom of my heart
Still I can't give you up, so loving you.
Why don't you say good bye?

Why don't you love me only? Kimatte gomakasu kedo
Why dont you tell me good bye? Mou taerarenai yo
Bottom of my heart
Still I can't give you up, so loving you.
Why don't you say good bye?

Why can you just love me? Even though I know for sure that it's a lie
Why don't you just tell me goodbye? I can't stand it any longer
From the bottom of my heart
I still can't give you up; I'm still so in love with you
Why don't you just tell me goodbye?

Why don't you tell me the truth? 　笑ってごまかすけど
Why don't you tell me good bye?　いっそ楽にしてよ
Bottom of my heart
I am still stuck on you, so loving you.
Why don't you say good bye?

Why don't you tell me the truth? Waratte gomakasu kedo
Why don't you tell me good bye? Isso raku ni shite yo
Bottom of my heart
I am still stuck on you, so loving you.
Why don't you say good bye?

Why don't you tell me the truth? You smile and lie to me
Why dont you tell me goodbye? Just set me free already
From the bottom of my heart
I am still so stuck on you, I'm still so in love with you
Why didn't you tell me good bye?

Why don't you love me only?　決まってごまかすけど
Why don't you tell me good bye? もう耐えられないよ
Bottom of my heart
Still I can't give you up, so loving you.
Why don't you say good bye?

Why don't you love me only? Kimatte gomakasu kedo
Why dont you tell me good bye? Mou taerarenai yo
Bottom of my heart
Still I can't give you up, so loving you.
Why don't you say good bye?

Why can you just love me? Even though I know for sure that it's a lie
Why don't you just tell me goodbye? I can't stand it any longer
From the bottom of my heart
I still can't give you up; I'm still so in love with you
Why don't you just tell me goodbye?


This is one of my fav songs...
Its so....hmm...like as if the guy loves the girl so much and knows that the girl is cheating on him but he still wants the girl back...

Today is Ryo's birthday!
Happy birthday, Ryo-chan!
Wish you all the best in your life!
Haha....

I never thought there will be a day which i actually say or write this to Ryo, out of all people.
Haha...
Well, life can b unexpected right?

Hmm...
This may be Ryo's birthday but the article that I'm posting is abt Yamapi during this first ever interview when News was formed...

Wink Up 2003 12 - "Starting" Yamashita Tomohisa"

"The formation of NEWS"

"NEWS' news" is a phrase that will probably be frequently heard from now on! And just to let everyone know, Wink up is the first to interview us about the group so I can say anything I want. The readers are really getting their money's worth (laugh). With the later the interviews, you start to run out of fresh topics so there's a sense of guilt, like "Ah, I'm saying the same thing again!" (laugh). Because of that, the newest information would probably be in this article! What I felt in the beginning? "Really shocked" (laugh). The president explained to us, "There is a plan to start a group called NEWS, and that means North East West South!". I thought to myself, "Wh-what? North East West South!?" My head was filled with question marks, but rehearsals began while I was still in a state of confusion and I participated in the news conference just like that, then it continued all the way up to now (laugh). I never spoke to Tegoshi before this! It was like "Hello, um... who are you (laugh)?"! Koyama even had to explain to me, "He's a member of Johnny's Jr." (laugh)

"There are still many puzzles amongst the members!"

Nn, or should I say I just don't know them very well still (laugh)! Like I just said, I didn't know anything about Tegoshi at all, and I still need to get to know Moriuchi too. As for Uchi, I've found that he kind of gives off a dazed and childlike feel, but he hasn't completely developed that yet. Masuda feels like he will make the atmosphere around him interesting, so I'm really looking forward to that. Another thing is probably his muscles! The muscles on his body are really firm! I hope he will work hard as NEWS' "special leader of muscle training" (laugh). Kusano is another unknown element! The staff often says "Kusano is really funny!". He seems a bit shy still, but he's very energetic, so I hope he can become a livelier member of NEWS. If Ryo is the type of person who pricks people with needles, Kusano is the kind who makes dents in sheets of metal with his fist. He's very fierce, but there isn't much destructive power to him (laugh). The dented metal can return to normal just from flipping it over and knocking the bump back into place, but the wound from being pricked can leave behind a deep scar! (laugh) Kato speaks very quickly, so if he goes on television, they might even have to give him subtitles for it (laugh). Out of these members, the one I'm most familiar with is probably Ryo! There was a period where we were very close, though Ryo is always in Osaka lately, but I didn't think we would meet each other again under circumstances like this! His tongue is still very sharp though, how terrible. A sharp expression, an even sharper tongue... I hope he can develop these qualities well. Also, Koyama is older than me and is very cautious in what he does, so he's very trustworthy! I hope he can be someone who shapes NEWS into a more well-behaved group. Right now it feels like we're all still observing each other, but we'll probably grow closer with time!

"Will I become an unrestrained back-up?!"

There are nine members in the group, yet we only need seven members to make an appearance, this is a very interesting idea. From the beginning when the president briefed us, I thought it would be with everyone together, so I didn't understand at all (laugh). There'll probably come the time for me to be a back-up too! No no, I hope I can make an appearance every time~ (laugh)!

"Going on Music Station!"

Compared to now, I'll probably only get a "I went!" kind of feeling when this magazine is actually published! I haven't been on Music Station for a very very long time now. As a Jr. was probably when I was in 10th grade! Nn, performing in a program other than Shounen Club feels pretty new (laugh)."I am very annoying when I get nitpicky about strange things!"This has nothing to do with NEWS at all, and it's not really news either! It's just something I really want to talk about (laugh). Especially because I really like to eat, when it comes to food, I can get very picky. For example, don't you usually eat toast for breakfast? First I would spread the butter, then apply blueberry jam, and if there was a spot that hadn't been covered, I would get really bothered by it! Another side of me would say inside, "don't mind it so much!" but in the end I'd still re-apply all over again. Ah, it's very typical of Blood A-types? Is that so~, but the me like this is still really annoying! (laugh)

"NEWS is as fresh and original as its literal meaning!"

It's also the same to us, it really is a very fresh unit! There is an unrestrained back-up system set up, but we still have to challenge all kinds of new things. Selling our CDs in the 7-11 stores in Japan is a completely new sales tactic too! When you think of convenience stores, there's always a sense of accessibility where you can always buy whatever you think of at the time. To give an example, sometimes you would feel very scared in the middle of the night, and if at that time you suddenly think of us (laugh), all you have to do is go into a nearby 7-11 to see our CDs on the racks; listening to that would definitely lift everyone's spirits. And related to that there's also "Ah, there's also some really delicious looking chips here, and MOW too!", so you can feel several times the happiness in one go (laugh). It sounds a bit like I'm just kidding, but we really did work hard! If all of our readers can support us, I will feel very happy! Yoroshiku onegaishimasu!


Hmm....P is really a very different person back then compared to now when i read this and after i watched the shounen club premium where Taichi hosted.
Well, I think P is a very complex person but whatever it is, i know for sure that he is one very stubborn person..Haha...

Name: 山下　リンダ
DOB: 20 January .

Hobby: Surfing net, reading, listening to music

Fav Boys:Aiba Masaki, Akanishi Jin, Yamashita Tomohisa(Guys),

Fav Food & Drink:Chocolate & Cha Soba(food), Green tea (drink)

Fav Doramas: Nobuta Wo Produce, Gokusen 1 & 2, Dragon Zakura

Fav Songs: Hesitate, It Can't Be, Murasaki by Jin Akanishi, ButterflyーKattun,Himawari,Snow Express, Weeek Daite Senorita, Love Song, Colourful- Yamapi, Right Back to You, Wish, Harukaze Sneakers, Subarashi Sekai-Arashi, Itsuka No Summer- Aiba Masaki